Teenagers run away because home life is not good and they don’t know how to cope with home life.  If your teenager is running away, you will need to look at your family life and determine what is going wrong.  This behavior is a way for a teenager to tell you that they need help.  They may have an emotional problem that they don’t know how to deal with. 

They may not have been following rules, always receiving consequences and feel low.  Communication is key.  Ask and listen.  Do not tell them they are wrong for their feelings.  They are their feelings.  Focus on problem solving. For example, if your teenager tells you that they are always in trouble and feel like there is no reason to bother trying, this is valid.  Image if every day you went to work your boss told you what you did wrong and docked your pay. 

Yes, I know you may be saying well I would make sure I was doing what I was suppose to do and therefore would not get in trouble.  Teenager’s brain is not working on the logical level it is operating on the emotional level.  Help them problem solve, don’t tell them how to change. 

Remember if you preach to them they shut you out after the third sentence.  To help your teenager in this situation, make sure you praise them when they do something well, even if it something that is expected of them.  Figure out how they can earn privileges back and check out your consequences, as they may be extreme.  A month of being grounded may be excessive.  And in that month you may not see any appropriate behavior ‘cause their thinking is “why bother?” 

Ask yourself what will your consequence teach them?  Will it teach them to be sneakier so they don’t get caught?  Or will they learn you are unreasonable?  What were you trying to teach them?  To not mess with you?  Are you trying to teach them that society has rules and there are consequences for their choices? If that is what your are trying to teach them, then make the consequence match the behavior.  If they are late returning from curfew, they don’t go out for a few days or a week.

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